The Blog and Tour Schedule of Carlos Celdran. A man who is trying to change the way you look at Manila - one step at a time. Telephone: (02)4844945 Text/Cell:(0920)9092021 or Email: celdrantours@hotmail.com

Saturday, September 20, 2008

HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY!

I'm sick again. Gosh. I have no idea what the hell is going on with my immune system. Just yesterday, I lost my voice and had to cancel my hosting at the Amorsolo Festival Opening Night at the Shangri-La Hotel. Right on the heels of my last cancellation at the Palanca Awards. My doctor told me that I'm working myself to the ground. I really need to take a long break and let my body heal.

But nevertheless, at least now I'm given downtime in bed to finally post the entries for my Unbearable Lightness of Being Bakya Contest sponsored by HAPPY FEET! Here are a few samples of what some folks out there consider as "bakya".

Swimming in T-shirts: Bakya

Bringing your own rice cooker on your travels: Bakya.


Datu Puti Vinegar Commercials: Veery Bakya.

Drinking softdrinks/sago-gulaman in plastic bags: Soooo bakya. Guys with one long nail (usually yung hinliliit or pinky): Not sure if it's in the "cute" bakya category or "kadiri" category. But them both together, and it's a double whammy bakya moment.

Wearing socks with slippers, and if the slippers are heeled slippers: Triple Bakya.

Making boso: Bakya. (I think it's more "bastos" than anything else, actually)

Puns and Copyright infringement: Apparently bakya.

Cheesy poses are also very Bakya. Especially when done in a public place.

Here are the written entries:
-Malalaking lata ng biscuit na dinadala ng mga pauwi sa probinsya. (The big cans of biskwit that people bring on buses back to the province.
-Sofa sets covered in plastic for posterity
-Plastic flowers, especially when they have gathered the dust of the centuries. Flowers are meant to wither after their expiry date, oy.
- A rainforest of plastic plants and trees as office decor.
- That blinking cell phone borloloy. Aren't the bars enough indicator of how strong the signal is?
- Cheap dashboard decors of the day, the ones that everybody else has
- Moviestar adulation to the point of using his/her cutout pics as bedroom wallpaper
- Asking a movie star's autograph or minding him/her when the celeb is trying very hard to melt in the crowd
- Many Manila's streetlamps, especially those that have lost all sense of proportion.
- Demolition of defining art/architecture and historical heritage sites, then replacing them with high-rises with terrible architecture.
- War and terror as a means to resolve disagreement.
- PR stuff passed off as news.
- Media content that's 90% PR. Repeat after me: Nobody reads PR stuff. (Not the fault of PR writers, though.)
- Giant billboards with certainly unattractive faces. If you decide to invade our public spaces, be sure you look either really gorgeous or holy enough to be adored as god/God/someone godly.
- Tabloids that thrive on nothing but porn, plain tsismis, and other pure forms of sleaze.
- Overdone 'kulots' in singing ballads.
- Fair and brown-skinned ladies who are pug-nosed and bleach their hair blond.
- Polyester barong. No explanations necessary.
- Inserting an incongruous 'h' in one's name to make it sound more foreign and even more foolish. Examples: Romy --> Rhomy. Michael --> Michaehl. You're not Portuguese.
- Not falling in line
- Throwing one's trash in the street.
- Living off other people's misery.
- Show biz personalities who enter politics armed with nothing but little knowledge, skill, and suspicious motives.
And all the rest written here:

Well, so far, these are the entries I have received, I have extended the deadline to October 1, 2008. Hope to get more entries this week. Cheers!

13 Comments:

OpenID chuvaness said...

join ako. since we're in the subject of Happy Feet, I find long toe nails really bakya

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2174/2499406125_bbbeb10d00.jpg?v=0

5:45 PM  
Blogger Achilles said...

I usually drink OJ every morning or Kalamansi juice and a glass of milk and eat bagel or a muffin before going to work.

You need a lot of energy. Centrum Silver actually work.

9:17 PM  
Blogger Rain Tan said...

Carlos, get well soon! Bombard yourself with vitamins and get some rest. By the way, my brother and I joined your tour last Sunday and it was the most attentive I've been inside a Catholic church for a while now. Kudos! We will bring more friends next time.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Cynthia said...

BAKYA, MIDDLE-CLASS PINOY STYLE


BAKYA: Balikbayans who insist on making a pilgrimage to the Wowowee show

BAKYA: Modern buses labled with portmanteaus of the owners' or their children's names (like "Nimfel" or "Marsoltina")

BAKYA: Driving all the way from QC to check out a giant shopping mall, because it's new and it's big! (Never mind that it has the same retail stores as your neighborhood shopping mall.)

BAKYA: Denying that you like Tagalog movies/telenovelas, when you've got Cinema One/ABS-CBN/GMA 7 programmed on your TV remote

BAKYA: Following Betty la Fea, the Pinoy version, even though you've already seen the original Mexican telenovela and Ugly Betty

BAKYA: Insisting on a wearing an accessory or clothing that is sold in every other stall in Greenhills' tiangge. (Safety in numbers does not exempt you from being bakya!)

BAKYA: Buying every version of a gadget, in the hopes of staying current. How many iPods do you own? (Unfortunately, my husband has every single one.)

11:29 AM  
Blogger Maricel said...

KARAOKE - whatever other people say, to me its still bakya to sing to a one man band

curlers and hair net (meron pa ba nun?)

a bakya house has a Last Supper in their dining room, huge wooden spoon and fork from Baguio, those paintings of gambling animals and seven horses in the living room, Malate art,

chunky jewelry, huge logo of designer brands - fake naman

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carlos, even though you're not feeling well you still look good enough to eat! You are cute!

7:22 PM  
Anonymous katrina said...

Oh, no, sick again?!?! Poor, poor Carlos. Hope you recover quickly, and this time, for the long term.

1:43 AM  
Blogger Tesa Celdran said...

Still a cute photo of you hon, even if you are sick. Multivitamis and echinacea (did I spell that right?)

1:52 PM  
Blogger P said...

On Rice cooker during travels: But it's so Pinoy! Overheard in the beach, at the height of a Toronto summer, a mother hen, to no one in particular - Sino ang may gusto ng arroz caldo?

10:37 PM  
Blogger mtan said...

Three strikes of bad health is not good. Listen to your doctor and your body! Sounds like you need at least a week of detox (maybe you can ask the folks at the Farm to get your immune system back up to speed). Get well soon Carlos!

1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BAKYA: The cult of useless, dangerous (as in if people copied them, our society would be in danger), delusional celebrities. My top four: Kris Aquino, Ruffa Gutierrez, Boy Abunda, and Tim Yuck.

1:15 AM  
Blogger elay said...

bakya: friendster; "love teams" of today's young stars para kumita yung movie nila; local celebrities na paiyak-iyak sa TV interviews as if their problems = end of the world; actually wasting time watching those afternoon showbiz gossip shows on tv;

9:38 AM  
Blogger Gibb said...

bakya: taking home jollibee or any fastfood ketchup/sugar/salt sachets

bakya: manny pacquiao's fashion sense being copied by other boxers

bakya: manny pacquiao's bigote

bakya: late morning talk shows

bakya: late afternoon mexican telenovelas

bakya: yung naka jacket kahit mainit

bakya: yung naka jeans & rubber shoes sa beach

bakya: feeling emo

1:23 AM  

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