Saturday, September 20, 2008

HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY!

I'm sick again. Gosh. I have no idea what the hell is going on with my immune system. Just yesterday, I lost my voice and had to cancel my hosting at the Amorsolo Festival Opening Night at the Shangri-La Hotel. Right on the heels of my last cancellation at the Palanca Awards. My doctor told me that I'm working myself to the ground. I really need to take a long break and let my body heal.

But nevertheless, at least now I'm given downtime in bed to finally post the entries for my Unbearable Lightness of Being Bakya Contest sponsored by HAPPY FEET! Here are a few samples of what some folks out there consider as "bakya".

Swimming in T-shirts: Bakya

Bringing your own rice cooker on your travels: Bakya.


Datu Puti Vinegar Commercials: Veery Bakya.

Drinking softdrinks/sago-gulaman in plastic bags: Soooo bakya. Guys with one long nail (usually yung hinliliit or pinky): Not sure if it's in the "cute" bakya category or "kadiri" category. But them both together, and it's a double whammy bakya moment.

Wearing socks with slippers, and if the slippers are heeled slippers: Triple Bakya.

Making boso: Bakya. (I think it's more "bastos" than anything else, actually)

Puns and Copyright infringement: Apparently bakya.

Cheesy poses are also very Bakya. Especially when done in a public place.

Here are the written entries:
-Malalaking lata ng biscuit na dinadala ng mga pauwi sa probinsya. (The big cans of biskwit that people bring on buses back to the province.
-Sofa sets covered in plastic for posterity
-Plastic flowers, especially when they have gathered the dust of the centuries. Flowers are meant to wither after their expiry date, oy.
- A rainforest of plastic plants and trees as office decor.
- That blinking cell phone borloloy. Aren't the bars enough indicator of how strong the signal is?
- Cheap dashboard decors of the day, the ones that everybody else has
- Moviestar adulation to the point of using his/her cutout pics as bedroom wallpaper
- Asking a movie star's autograph or minding him/her when the celeb is trying very hard to melt in the crowd
- Many Manila's streetlamps, especially those that have lost all sense of proportion.
- Demolition of defining art/architecture and historical heritage sites, then replacing them with high-rises with terrible architecture.
- War and terror as a means to resolve disagreement.
- PR stuff passed off as news.
- Media content that's 90% PR. Repeat after me: Nobody reads PR stuff. (Not the fault of PR writers, though.)
- Giant billboards with certainly unattractive faces. If you decide to invade our public spaces, be sure you look either really gorgeous or holy enough to be adored as god/God/someone godly.
- Tabloids that thrive on nothing but porn, plain tsismis, and other pure forms of sleaze.
- Overdone 'kulots' in singing ballads.
- Fair and brown-skinned ladies who are pug-nosed and bleach their hair blond.
- Polyester barong. No explanations necessary.
- Inserting an incongruous 'h' in one's name to make it sound more foreign and even more foolish. Examples: Romy --> Rhomy. Michael --> Michaehl. You're not Portuguese.
- Not falling in line
- Throwing one's trash in the street.
- Living off other people's misery.
- Show biz personalities who enter politics armed with nothing but little knowledge, skill, and suspicious motives.
And all the rest written here:

Well, so far, these are the entries I have received, I have extended the deadline to October 1, 2008. Hope to get more entries this week. Cheers!