KVETCH! KVETCH! KVETCH!

Insular Life - June 2005,
originally uploaded by carlosceldran.

WHAT THE HELL?
To all management and board of directors of Insular Life Philippines:

You idiots. What in heavens name have you done to your former main office? Why the hell couldn't you leave good enough alone? It was only a year ago that your Makati ex-headquarters, a brilliant modernist masterwork by Architect Cesar Concio, stood proudly at the corner of Ayala Avenue and Paseo de Roxas. It's brise-soleil facade and sculptural canopy was a symbol of the dynamism of Makati's rapid growth in the 1960's; it's space-age demeanor an icon of the zeitgeist. Sadly, from being an expression of the optimism which reigned when the Philippines was the most economically and socially progressive country in Asia; it has become as bland and cheezy as any of the other McBuildings infecting the skyline of today's Makati. Concio's formerly graceful curves and diamond detailing are now slathered over with sheeny aluminum imported on the cheap from China as the neon logo of fastfood behemoth Jollibee ironically greets you at the entryway. For an institution that claims to be sensitive to culture and the arts, this comes as a coup de grace for some pretty horrific past aesthetic blunders done by Insular Life. And if nobody has told you which blunders these are, then allow me to enumerate them for you now. One. Your new headquarters in Alabang is not only boring, it's ugly. Two. The nasty Impy Pilapil sculptures scattered around your Alabang lobby are cornier than a painting of dogs playing pool. Three. You put the Napoleon Abueva frieze (the one you transferred from the Makati headquarters) on the wrong side of your new building. And Four. The aforementioned renovation. Conclusion: YOUR ART CURATOR SUCKS. FIRE HIM/HER. Gosh. You think you guys might have learned something when everybody bitched about what a terrible renovation you did at the original Insular Life Building on Plaza Cervantes back in the 1980's. So really, if you can't stop yourself from being cultural neanderthals, then stop claiming to know anything about art at all.

Tsk tsk. Morons. I'd kick your asses myself if I had the chance.

ARCHITECTURE! ARCHITECTURE! ARCHITECTURE!

Pre-CCP Complex - 1974,
originally uploaded by carlosceldran.

DESIGN OF THE TIMES!

Attention all Architects and Social Engineers! Here is a chance to have your design vision ring through the ages! The Cultural Center of the Philippines and the National Commission for Culture and the Arts has announced that they are holding a Design Excellence Competition to enhance the Master Business and Development Plan of their sprawling 70 hectare complex by Manila Bay. In an eerie paraphrase of Imelda Marcos' ambition to make the Cultural Center of the Philippines the "sanctuary for the Filipino soul", the website says that the contest aims to establish the new CCP Complex as a "center for arts and culture in Asia and the centerpiece of artistic expression of the Filipinos' soul and spirit." It also says that they hope to "optimize the economic potential of the district to be self-sustaining, promote public life and private activities as well as encourage private sector participation." Rather tall orders I have to say - especially since there has never been a truly successful marriage of art and commerce in any public institution in this country. And judging by the complexity of the factors at hand, the design and development of the area sounds like a responsibility that should really be given to veteran professionals rather than altruistic students and inexperienced local McArchitects. My number one kvetch about competitions: What happens if the winner sucks? Do we still have to build it? Case in point: Look at all those nasty Eduardo Castrillo monuments (EDSA monument, Bonifacio Monument, etc..) we have to bear with since he is the only one who bothers to join these public sculpture competitions at all. But who knows? Maybe there is a brilliant architect-slash-urban planner among our midst waiting to be given the chance to shine (Ed Calma, Andy Locsin, Anna Sy, and Jorge Yulo, I hope you have your applications all filled out already.) Or maybe the organizers also opened the competition to international designers so that it can expand the creative horizon and move away from our somewhat insular perspective. Perhaps they should also invite figures like Rem Koolhas or RKTL of to join the competition in order to give our designers the drive to push the envelope a bit. Either way, I eagerly await the final result. Submission of entries is on July 30th for professionals and September for students. A panel made up of the screening committee, three experts in the design fields and three from the NCCA and CCP will do final judging. Around P1M is earmarked for prizes for the winning entries. Winning designs will also be exhibited at the CCP main gallery in December, and featured in a special issue of Bluprint Magazine. The photo above is a picture of the CCP complex before reclamation activities began. Star City Circus is now located on top of the shoreline you see above.

ART! ART! ART!

"CONTEMPORARY ART EXCHANGE"
11:00AM to 7:00PM
June 19, 2005, Sunday
LUMIERE
Ground Floor, LV Locsin Building, Ayala Avenue corner Makati Avenue. (fronting the Shangri-La Hotel) P. 8122976

Back by popular demand, Lumiere Bistro and Gallery is once again holding a whole day art bazaar featuring affordable works by contemporary Filipino and foreign artists (all works cost below Php10,000.00). Come buy a photo, analyze a sculpture, exchange a work of art or just a point of view as you munch on traditional French fare. It's Makati Bohemia Burgis at it's finest. Check it out for yourself and see if it deserves to become a monthly tradition. And for all you interested artists who wish to sell your works to the Ayala Avenue crowd, slots are still available at Php550.00 - which includes a space on the table, signage, and a beer while you wait for sales to ring in.
Call (927) 552 6896 and ask for the curator, Rina. Tell her I sent you.

EAT! EAT! EAT!

UNO
195 Tomas Morato corner Scout Fuentebella Street, (Near Ratsky's) Quezon City. P. 374-0774
The Restaurant Nobody wants You to Know About

I first heard of this place years ago from Televisionista Daphne Osena Paez, who called it the "little secret she never wanted anyone to know" for fear that it might get packed with the culinary hoi poloi. Well, the secret is out. Tucked away in a corner of Tomas Morato in Quezon City, Uno is undeniably the classiest alternative to all the frantic family fare readily available in the neighborhood. It's chef-slash-owner Mari Relucio is one of Manila's most underrated culinary figures and she has a well balanced menu that changes every few months and special which changes daily. The decor is unfussy, the lighting incandescent, and the specials are recited to you by a smartly dressed English speaking staff. Order the lamb; it's heaven on a bone and a fantastic take home treat for the house dog. The soups and pasta dishes are all safe bets, but their cheesecake is exceptional. Their prices are also beyond reasonable. The Creme Brulee is a steal at Php30.00. Parking available along Scout Fuentebella.

WHEE! WHEE! WHEE!

This was printed around a month ago...

AGE AGAINST THE MACHINE: This is not your typical Intramuros tour
Posted 04:24pm (Mla time) April 15, 2005

By Gino dela Paz

Inquirer News Service
Published on Page F1 of the April 16, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
CONTRARY to what you think, the Walled City of Intramuros is not that old. I repeat, not that old. Then again, age is relative and what may be totally Cretaceous in my books could very well be a steady shag for Ashton Kutcher. Pause. Okay, at least that--or something really close to it--was what I first learned from my crash course in Philippine history a few days ago.
Part tour guide, part Vegas side show, Carlos Celdran took me and a dozen other culture vultures (some in-training) back in time through a walking safari around Intramuros. Jampacked with inside stories as well as streetwise insight, the two-hour tour-called "If These Walls Could Talk"--was history, politics and comedy at its Jon Stewart best. All it lacked was Rob Corddry. And a few Emmys. But moving on.
In the right hands, the past--and the swirling vortex of names, dates and facts that go with it--could be as riveting as "Arrested Development." (You know, something met with saucer-eyed enthusiasm instead of cynical moaning.) And with his Britney-type concert microphone and Pinoy flag, Carlos is the right dude for the job. (Warning: I have the memory, not to mention the emotional depth, of a can of tuna so I conveniently left out minor details, such as exact dates and the like, for you to Google.) After all, this is my Cliff's Notes version of his Cliff's Notes version of Intramuros. Enjoy.
Not Fort Bonifacio: Fort Santiago

Our traveling laboratory first took us to Fort Santiago, a 16th century military defense structure. The ground on which Manila was built is relatively new so the Fort's walls, made of piedra china or Chinese stone, were not local. They were actually imported from--could it be?--China.
"Basically most of Luzon [has a foundation of] limestone and coral. The only part of the Philippines that is part of Pangaea and has granite is Palawan," Carlos' mic boomed. Apparently, building a fortress out of porous materials like limestone and coral is like building a house out of cookies. (Yummy, but a bonehead idea.) Besides, bamboo was the only indigenous construction material during Rajah Humabon's time so the Spanish contractors had to shop at the Home Depot all the way in China. Psych.
Walking through the massive gate, we then parked under a tree to listen to stories about Jose Rizal's statue. No baller, Rizal was apparently a tiny, tiny man so the image we saw in the garden was not an accurate replica, but rather, a pimped out version of the national hero. Carlos revealed that he was definitely [only] 4 feet 11 inches, "much like President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo." Growth hormones and calcium supplements weren't invented yet so I guess peeps during his day looked a bit like Bilbo Baggins. Oh well.
A stretch limo kalesa, or horse-drawn carriage, brought us to our next stop, the San Agustin Church. There would've been seven (or so) more churches we could've posed in front of--I mean, visited. But because Manila was totally bitch-slapped during WWII, this place of worship is all that's left. The San Agustin Church was, however, enough to underscore how the Philippines was built largely by Catholicism and not by Spain.
Continued...

WHEE! WHEE! NOT REALLY.

Plaza Calderon - April 28, 2005
originally uploaded by carlosceldran.

STRIKING WHILE THE IRONY IS HOT!

It was only three days after writing that METROBANK MADE kvetch (see below April 25, 2005), when a karmic dog pulled on my cosmic pantleg. On the afternoon of April 28, I attended to the inauguration party of newly spiffed up Plaza Calderon dela Barca (now Plaza San Lorenzo Ruiz) in front of Binondo Church in Chinatown. Although nonplussed by the labored musical styings of Miss Chinatown Pop Star and the verbose ramblings of government officials, I was pleased as punch to find fresh grass planted at the foot of every newly trimmed tree; to find all visual obstructions (like obsolete traffic signs and broken benches) completely removed, and to find both antique fountains finally working once again. I was also pleased as a pig in a poke to find out that METROBANK footed the entire bill for the plazas' refurbishment. Very nice. Very generous. But it doesn't change the fact that all your buildings are still very ugly. Nevertheless, it's a welcome gesture/downpayment for the myriad of aesthetic and architectural sins your institution has committed. Yes. It all begins with one step. Now try cleaning up the nasty canals in your neighborhood; your buildings still spew raw sewage.

WHEE! WHEE! WHEE!

Cathy and I, May 5, 2005 originally uploaded by carlosceldran.

JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR YOU AND ME IN PARADISE

I just finished touring the Sydney Olypmics Gold Medalist Cathy Freeman today. Lovely lovely lady. I took her around the Fort Santiago, Casa Manila, and the San Agustin Church grounds. Although she "knows she'll have a great time here in the Philippines", her agenda is actually much more serious. She is here to do charity work for the Springboard Foundation. Log onto their website now if you wish to help Filipino streetchildren find a better life. They can be contacted at (632) 821-5449. Or email them at info@springboard-foundation to ask how you can help.

WIN OR LOSE?

Arroceros DCS Center by Flagship Projects Office and Arch. J. Antonio Mendoza,

originally uploaded by carlosceldran.

Sigh, I'm going to earn the ire of several people because of this posting I'm sure. I can only hope that in the end, these drawings may finally clarify the issues surrounding the overblown animal that is the Arroceros Forest Park Controversy. Posted above is the elevation drawing of the proposed building to be built on the site which I got from Manila City Hall. This building (other images of it are on my Flickr site) will be The Division for City Schools Center for Manila's public school teachers and not a mall as many had suspected. Designed by Arch. J. Antonio Mendoza (of Minggoys at The Fort) and the Flagship Design Office of the City of Manila, the proposed structure aims to take up less than ten percent of the lot. This is for minimum environmental impact and also to preserve most of the trees already growing within the park. As the plan goes, most of the trees affected by the footprint of the building will then be transferred to housing projects in Tondo. And in order to not contribute to the visual blight of the area, the building was also designed in a contemporary Filipino Vernacular Style (admittedly ala Amanpulo et al) so as to remain in keeping with Manila's historical context. So I hope this clarifies things for everyone - especially for the Winners Foundation - who claim to be given the right to administer the park by EX Mayor Alfredo Lim.

To them, I have this to say - and I can say it because I have sat ringside throughout this ordeal: Sorry guys, but the land was not Mayor Lims' to give. The land legally belongs to the Division of City Schools. Period. It was bought with public funds by the DCS. The law is the law. A sale is a sale. So stop all of this tired rallying, whining and holding masses and bake sales at the park. City Hall is trying their best to address your issues even if you refuse to begin dialogue with them. I'm pretty sure you can still have your botanical garden and those poor ol' public school teachers can get still their education center as long as you all work together to achieve BOTH goals. I truly believe that happy compromises can be achieved if everyone just opens up the lines of communication. And you guys best hurry if you wish to maintain a stake in the park now that construction has begun already. All that ranting and raving did not earn your cause any new supporters and it is doing absolutely nothing to assure the park be developed properly for the benefit of everyone.

In other words, wise up, Winners, get to the negotiating table with City Hall soon or you just might end up losing the park altogether in the end.

Ok. That's it. Let the hate mail begin.

KVETCH! KVETCH! KVETCH!

Ocean Tower - April 25, 2005,
originally uploaded by carlosceldran.

MADE ME MAD!

I was just surfing throught the web and almost choked on myself when I stumbled upon the Metrobank Art and Design Excellence (MADE) website. MADE is a 20 year old competition run by the MetroBank Foundation (of George Ty's MetroBank) to recognize the outstanding works of young but promising painters and sculptors. A wonderfully generous endeavor no doubt, but when I read that they decided to expand their awards to architects and interior designers, I realized that a KVETCH was definitely in order. So here it goes: Ahem. Metrobank. For an institution such as yours, who has in it's stable of developments some of Manila's most miserable structures, where do you get off thinking you can pull off an architectural competition? The Escolta Twin Towers on Escolta; Bay Gardens in Pasay Reclamation Area; Ocean Tower on Roxas Boulevard; and Tytana Building on Plaza Ruiz are not only shamefully unimaginative in its design and clumsy in it's execution, but their gargantuan proportions are a serious burden to their neighorhoods' water and electric supply. Moreover, these structures are completely insensitive to the historic context of their surroundings and simply a vicious assault on the eyes (Escolta Twin Towers even has laundry hanging from its grills - Hello. Can we please..?) They are undeniable testaments to Metrobank's priority for profit over proper urban development. So, Metrobank, if you want to spread goodwill - and your scholarship and health programs are doing a great job in doing that - just don't push your luck with architecture. Save your Php150,000.00 prize money and just hire better architects to fix what you already have (Sorry Architect Gozar. Nothing personal.) This is an imperative if ever you want anybody to take this competition seriously. Because to claim that your institution knows good architecture is not only misleading; it's downright insulting to those who know better.

MADE: This contest, done in partnership with the United Architects of the Philippines (UAP), is open to Filipino licensed architects 25 to 40 years old who have completed a single detached residence in the Philippines which been occupied for at least one year. Entry forms are available at all Metrobank branches nationwide. For inquiries, send an email to foundation@metrobank.com.ph. For questions on the architecture competition, call the UAP National Secretariat at 412 6403.

CARLOS RECOMMENDS!

Nicotina - April24, 2005,
originally uploaded by carlosceldran.

HOT! HAUTE! HAUGHT!

NICOTINA GARDEN PAVILION

110 Williams St. corner Roxas Boulevard, Pasay City. (one door down from the Department of Foreign Affairs) tel. 5517906 - 07

I just love this place and I don't know why. Could it be the 2 storey tall strands of tivoli lights dripping from the ceiling? Or perhaps it's the beautiful mid-20th century house snuggled beneath the large Banyan tree in its courtyard? Whatever the case may be, Nicotina is really the nightclub (and I mean this in a positive old-fashioned sense) to see or be seen in these days. And for good reason: it's casual, it's tastefully appointed, and they have fabulous performances in a cabaret setting every week. And if that's not enough, then its reasonably priced Italian food (I particularly like their Porcini Risotto and Beef Carpaccio) will keep you coming back for more. No wonder its become the social epicenter of Manila's notoriously finicky (and insular) fashionista set. When you go, make sure to dress up, but in light fabrics - it's open air ambience is unforgiving for the non-believers of casual chic.

Call them (5517906 - 07) and inquire about the music line up for the week: Sound plays acid jazz; Drip plays electronica; and The Brass Munkeys do Big Band (complete with trombones and stuff). All them a must-see. Oh..and also make sure not to miss...