Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Now is it just me, or is every freaking white collared Filipino man in Manila retarded when it comes to gauging clothes sizes? I mean, just take a short walk around the business districts of Makati or Ortigas, and you will spot legion upon legion of the city's male salaried class swimming in yards of polyestered office wear. And apparently the retardation crosses all age and social brackets too. From the lowly clerk to middle management and above, it seems that the preferred choice is whatever fits their body's measurements PLUS enough room to fit a small mammal.

Now is this done by ordinance or is this a subconscious effort ruled by the cosmos? Either that, or it seems that our city's department stores only offer clothing in three sizes: blousy, blousy, and blousy. Whatever the case may be. Allow me to say this: "Dudes. It's just panget. panget. panget.*"

Wearing oversized barong tagalogs/shirts does nobody any favors aesthetically. Really. It kids no one. It doesn't hide the beer and sisig gut; it does not make one look younger; it does not elongate the silhouette; it's not "ghetto" or whatever; and believe you me - just because it's big enough to flap like a fan, it does not mean it can cool off like one either. And even though I only have limited fashion sense, one doesn't have to be blessed with a queer eye to realize that it's just flipping fugly**. The hip-hop baggy look in embroidered polyester or in cotton knit is not a good one for the office - or anywhere for that matter.

But how How HOW did these crimes of couture become so common in our fair society? Could there be a historical precedent to all this oversizedness? Is it a reaction to the climate? Or could this just be the result of a society whose mothers forced their male offspring to wear bigger clothes to save on money (No outgrowing of clothing if you know what I mean)? It truly boggles the mind.

But there is always hope. There are ways out there to make it look hip. Might I recommend accessorizing or using a healthy dose of irony when picking up the baggy look? It could soften the image and not make one look so DOWDY. The latter adjective being a description that should never ever be used on a male. It's emasculating and almost as bad as having man boobies. But remember, only follow the aforementioned suggestions if you MUST do the baggy look (ie. You have a gun to your head). Otherwise, if you are a size 42, then well, I recommend you wear a size 42. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Or just save yourself the effort and take a cue from the chicks. They know how to buy clothes of the proper size. Really. It isn't that hard to do.

*fugly, fugly, fugly.
**f--k--g ugly.