RUN FOR THE HILLS...

THE HELIUM CLUB

Oh. My god. I'm not sure what I just saw and I'll probably hate myself for posting about it on my blog because it will only confirm it's existence - but have you checked out, "The Helium Club?" Wild. This show packs in some of the most amazing faces, fashion, music, and grammar produced by this country of 7,107 islands in a long long while. And by amazing, I mean not amazing at all. Supposedly the world's first online reality series (questionable), The Helium Club attempts to be a peek into the rarefied lives of Manila's five most fabulous faces currently on the scene (Tara, JV, Bianca, Kristine, and Martin). And although it tries to be the Filipino answer to "The Hills", it comes across instead as the surreal jologs love child of... of ... God, I have no idea. This baby is in a class of it's own.

Log onto their five minute trailer on facebook and check out how many levels of wrong this show descends. After opening up with the cryptic phrase, "Live side by side the excess of our society's newest youth powerhouse", it's all downhill. I mean, really, what does "youth powerhouse" mean? It doesn't make sense. Their copywriter should be fined for assault and battery on the English language, while the entire cast could be flogged for the improper use of the words "Prada", "Dude", "Hell, yeah" and "Rustan's". But even then, I would finish the trailer just to catch soon-to-be-classic phrases like: "Cats are better than men", "You snooped on my planner" and  "It just comes natural." Finally, it's all wrapped up with a photoshoot with BryanBoy (Does he even know he is in there? Yikes). I mean, what's going on? Is this a joke? It must be a parody of Manila's "high society" because endless shots of chubby Filipinos chowing down on North Park as they twang in worsh worsh just isn't ghetto fabulous, if you know what I mean.

So can someone please clue me in? If this is satire, then it's fricking brilliant! No director could ever come up with comedy so spot on that it begged to be mocked. But if it's not. Then, Wow. No comment.

CONGRATULATIONS!

FILIPINO ART FINGERS THE PULSE...

How cool. Check out this Newsweek link. Writer Alexandra Seno talks about bargains in the U.S. art market during these times of recession. I was super stoked to read about my friend, the photographer Steve Tirona's Imelda Collection Series making a cameo in the closing paragraph. Congrats to you and to Isa Lorenzo of Silverlens Gallery for bringing Filipino art to Pulse New York art fair. Thank you so much upsidedownview for the photo of the piece...

TONIGHT...I READ.

I think it's time for me to take a break. I have been doing the same tour/show for the last five (or is it six?) years and I have reached my limit - for now. For the past 2,190 odd days, I have been wearing the same hat, plodding through the same boustrophedon, and mouthing off the same script, rain or shine. But don't get me wrong, it's not that my job has become stressful - I still believe I have the best job in the Philippines. It's just it has gotten a little, well, repetitious lately and needs to refresh itself. The tour has become so rote that I don't even hear myself speaking anymore. I assume this is how Lea Salonga must've felt after playing the lead in Miss Saigon for what - two thousand times or something? I'm sure she reached a point where upon uttering the opening lyrics, "I'm seventeen and I'm new here today", all she wanted to do was get postal. And who can blame her? After playing Kim for all that time, she definitely wasn't seventeen, and she was definitely not new there that day.

And just a couple of days ago, as I was being interviewed by the wonderful Tanya Lara about a tour I'll be doing in Fort Bonifacio on April 25, she asked if there was any interesting book or movie that I finished lately. And Good Lord. I went blank. I realized that I haven't taken the time out to read or watch films in hella long time. I haven't had fresh brain input in years! Which is why I'm rather glad to announce that I'll be taking some time off from all tours in May. I'll be off to Toronto and Vancouver to hang out with Fil-Canadian artists, to get back in touch with my visual artist roots, and to wander about a functional first world metropolis. I also indefinitely cancelled all Corregidor tours and Chinatown tours, and am cleaning out/evicting all extraneous stress/projects/people from my life. Oh, and I will also read.

Purchased from the bookstore that we know as National: Militant But Groovy: Stories of Samahang Demokratiko ng Kabataan; Huling Pytyk: The Art of Nonoy Marcelo (my former boss at Samahang Kartunista ng Pilipinas); Chaka Chronicles (a graphic novel about a fat girl who eats pizza) by Bobbi Jolbitado, and The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the 21st Century by Thomas Friedman.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Let me shout out a huge "Congratulations" to all the graduates of the Department of Tourism's Mabuhay Guides Program, a six week intensive program done in collaboration with Blue Badge Tour Guides of London. These guys, who are going to be the official guides of guests of the Philippine state (i.e, prime ministers, journalists, diplomats, celebrities) studied topics like Philippine cuisine, architecture, fine arts, dance, and ethics. According to one of the graduates, the Program was truly a life-altering experience. All of them immersed themselves in their studies and broke barriers in understanding the depth of this identity we call, "Filipino". Arch. Toti Villalon, their professor for Philippine Heritage Sites, was so impressed by their calibre, he would have extended his class by an extra week just because he enjoyed their company so much.

Above, I, along with the Mabuhay Guides at their graduation ceremony last night at the Almacenes of the Fort Santiago. I'm sooo glad that the bar is being raised. They truly are 21 of the most intelligent, articulate, charming, and frankly, attractive representatives that our country has to offer. So proud of these guys.

Bernadette Camus
Candie Cobiao
Charisse Aquino-Tugade
Dennis Maristany
Dustin Arnold Ancheta
Helen Grace Aranda
Inocencio dela Cruz
Irene Fernandez
Jeffrey Velasco
Joy Christine Co
Lovely Reynoso
Luisito Tayag
Maria Morena Galvelo
Maricel Feliciano
Mark Bryan Ocampo
Melissa Ramos
Ronnie Gador
Sandra Balbastro
Therese Carlos
Veronica Go
Yael Fernandez

Contact Susan Calo Medina at 8965523 if you wish to avail of their services.

And check out their feature on GMA television here.

CARLOS RECOMMENDS!

THE FUNKY FUNNY SWISH SWANKY SWANK

If I forgot to mention it last week, I'll put it out there right now: Swank is a really cool webzine. Easy to read and interesting, Swank is a stylish yet unpretentious read. Their blogstyle format focuses on pop culture, fashion, art, music, lifestyle, and on cool people who aren't part of the overexposed usual suspects that we see in Philippine society pages. With all these glossies closing shop out there, perhaps this is the wave of the future. It's especially interesting because articles here can link onto other sites, something that a magazine definitely cannot do. Check out their latest entry about the death of Philippine movie tag lines and check out some vintage posters.

THE HAS-BEEN ] Movie poster taglines

Like their washed up bold starlet contemporaries, their barely-noticed careers have gone the way of the "Whatever Happened To..." variety. Good thing the amazingly devoted archivist Simon Santos of the video store Video48 (West Avenue, QC) has uploaded a tremendous amount of old Filipino movie posters online. Swank rummaged through Steve's collection and picked 12 that tugged at the heartstrings.

Langis at Tubig

"If two marriages is bigamy...is one monotony?"

Relasyon

"She meets her man in some back street...during stolen hours."

Patayin sa Sindak si Barbara

"There’s something strange about this motion picture."

Broken Marriage

"When a marriage is on the rocks, the rocks are on the bed."

Read the rest here:

And a million thanks to Jerick T. Aguilar for the great article in Philstar! So glad you enjoyed the tour!!

CARLOS RECOMMENDS!

Yo! Are you looking for an affordable but interesting way to enjoy summer? Pack a picnic basket and spend a lovely weekend afternoon with your family in Intramuros being entertained by magicians and brass bands. "Serenata at Saya sa Fort Santiago" is a series of magic shows and brass band concerts to be held on Saturdays and Sundays at 4:30 p.m. 

The magic shows are on Saturdays March 21, 28, April 4, 18, and 25.

The band schedules are on Sundays, March 22 (Banda ng Maynila), March 29 (Paranaque City Band), April 5 (Quezon City Symphonic Band), April 12 KC Band (Caloocan City), April 19 (JFB Drum and Lyre of Navotas), April 26 (MMDA Drum and Bugle Corps). 

This event will be held at the Historic Fort Santiago. Intramuros Administration hopes to bring back the glory days of the Walled City when residents would take their late afternoon stroll (paseo) while a band played in the plaza. The series is also held in celebration of the 30th anniversary of the Intramuros Administration (IA), the national government agency tasked to restore and develop the walled city, created on April 10, 1979.

So pack up some cheese, wine, and kiddie treats and head out to the walled city. See you all there. Fort Santiago entrance fees are P75 for adults and P50 for children and students. For inquiries, please call tel. nos. 5272961 or 5273138.

WHEE! WHEE! WHEE!

KABAYAN CALLING...

Yesterday morning, I got a call from the Kabayan Action Group Intramuros Chapter, a non-government organization affiliated with the Philippine National Police. Their Chairman, "Dong" Humawan told me to immediately come into their office. Important matters apparently. Admittedly, I was a little freaked out. Did I do anything wrong? Was I under surveillance and busted for something or another? Either way, with my heart up in my throat, I ended up making my way to their office at the Parian gate and they gave me...a plaque.

Apparently, for my efforts in providing contraceptives and facilitating ligations for informal settlers in Intramuros, they thought that I was deserving of a "Certificate of Appreciation." I was floored. That was way too sweet. Aw. For a bunch of intimidating looking cops and tanods, these teddy bears really have a heart of gold deep inside. They even had it framed.

The plaque read: Mr. Carlos Celdran...is serving as an example and epitome to the renewed image of the DEPARTMENT OF TOURISM, in bringing, closer to the hearts of the people. And he is a model of all masses and kindhearted of whole Filipino poor people." And although I am not from the Dept. of Tourism and suspect that the copy was done through a translation website somewhere, it's intentions were clear. Kabayan Action Group rocks. I am humbled. And I am glad that I wasn't in trouble for anything.

From left: Johnny Olarte, Jose "Dong" Humawan, me, John "Pipoy" Jimenea, Reynaldo Casalita, and Jesus Nalla.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

A MILLION MUCHAS GRACIAS TO ATALYER.COM DESIGN STUDIOS.
Thanks so much for the gifts and for sponsoring Manila Transitio 1945. Your amazing Bento Boxes of books and stationery (above) were a hit with all the guest artists, musicians, and poets who gave their services to the event.

Log onto their site here: www.atalyerdesign.com

And go to La Monja Loca to buy their stuff.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

Have you met Biomodd?

Cool eh?

It's a self-sustaining ecosystem, a video game, and a collaborative work of art. Biomodd is the brainchild of Angelo Vermeulen and is currently being produced by Diego Maranan in cooperation with University of the Philippines Open University. Biomodd Los Banos (LBA2) is the second one to be built in the world, the first being constructed at the Ohio University College of Fine Arts (video above). Currently under construction at the UPOU campus in Los Banos, Biomodd plans to be shown at the National Museum of the Filipino People in September/October of 2009. And since it's a collaborative effort, the more the merrier of course. They need all sorts of people to source out all sorts of donated computer parts and geek stuff. So learn more about them here and get involved in the creation of this crazy contraption that crossses the line between art and science. www.biomodd.net.

And good art does not come cheap. So make sure to attend the BIOMODD SUMMER PARTY Fundraiser this April 17, 10PM at Cafe M in front of Ayala Museum in Makati. You can buy uber cool Biomodd shirts by Playground, swig down signature drinks sponsored by VuQo Vodka and Haliya Fruit Wines, as Angelo himself deejays.

Or hey, just send them cash and other donations through this page.

Angelo Vermeulen is a resident at The Living Room Malate. Biomodd was a nominee for the Ars Electronica Hybrid Art Prix in 2008. Read more about Angelo on his site here.

BLAIR BITCH PROJECT...

TONY! TONY! TONY!

I just came back from seeing George W. Bush's "poodle", Tony Blair speak at the tent of the Sofitel Philippine Plaza, and surprisingly, I was rather charmed by the guy. Apparently, Tonyboy is in Manila for a series of talks and today the topic was: "The Leader as Principled Negotiator" . He spoke to about 500 or so business and diplomat types at the hotel's seaside tent. And after almost two hours of much anti-Gloria huffing and puffing by some Chief Justice something or another (Sorry, I ran out to have Hainanese Chicken Rice at Spiral and forgot to remember his name), Mr. B finally took the stage at about a quarter to four and spoke confidently, eloquently, and with a lot of self-deprecating humor. Naturally, there were more than a few measured catch phrases and jokes thrown at us, like:

On leadership: "In times of crisis, leaders stand up, they do not stand back"; On change: "If you try to change something for what you think is better, people hate you for it. And when you finally do, they think it's always been that way."On governance: "Campaign in poetry, govern in prose"; "Lead because you want to get it done"; "It is forgivable to fail, it is unforgivable not to try"; "Popularity is not the reason why one should lead." On problems: "If you can't fix it, manage it."; On the shift of world power to the east: "Change as the world changes". On sex and the premiership: "I was one of the first prime ministers in a long time to have a child born while in office, so it makes me wonder what the other Prime Ministers were doing all that time then." He also spoke about how he was treated after leaving office, about having his first cell phone, and about what it's like to be forgotten.

But when needled by Cheche Lazaro (above) about more pointed topics (pointed at GMA to be exact) such as popular mandate and religion, Blair, ever the diplomat, managed to charm his way out of a squeeze. He was given the very loaded question, "When do you think it's time for a leader to step down?", and managed to deflect the topic effortlessly while simultaneously eliciting laughter. Truly a polished politician.

But as the founder of the Tony Blair Faith Foundation and the chief negotiator of the North Ireland Good Friday Agreement, I was rather disappointed by his vague answers to inquiries about religion. And some answers were even a little bit too Judeo-Christian-centric for my taste. When asked if the resolution of war can be found in the Scriptures, "He replied 'yes', if you read it properly." He also kept mum about the topic of birth control and population management. In reference to Reproductive Health Bill 5043, Blair was asked: "Should a leader stand up to The Catholic Church should the need arise?" and he remained perfectly evasive, revealing nothing. But even though he remained mum about his side on the issue, judging by Cherie's confession about forgetting her "equipment" resulting in her being knocked up at Balmoral, I'll take his silence to mean, "yes".