AND WERE BAAAACK!

And the Quiapo Tour is back on the schedule. Starting November 5. Monday. Hope to see you guys there. Scroll down for the details and the tour dates. Thank you sari sari store for the photo.

OH SH**...

Literally. The Washington Post reported that the explosion in Glorietta 2 mall was not caused by terrorists but by Ayala Mall's inadequate sewage system which likely created a methane explosion similar to the one in Guadalajara, Mexico in 1992.

Now one might instinctively and quite insensitively react with an "Oh thank god it wasn't a terrorism plot." - let's not lose sight of the big picture here. Although this may no longer seem like a local security issue (To: Senator Trillanes and all the other conspiracy theorists who sure look like morons now. Please go die.), this now brings up larger issues of proper urban planning and overdevelopment. And how ignoring the importance of such issues can not only cause inconvenience, but ultimately cost lives.

And if this methane-gases-due-to-human-waste theory proves itself to be true, considering that this is Ayala Malls, the country's supposedly most prestigious real estate development corporation that supposedly prioritizes issues such as these, can you imagine what the sewage system of less "prestigious" developments might look like? Just think about what horrors lurk underneath MegaMall or worse, Robinson's Malate and Galleria. People of Summit Media, you know what I'm talking about. The underground parking lot of your offices in Galleria really are Dante's seven levels of hell. And I'm already being kind.

Malls are not only the ones who commit crimes of improper crap disposal as well. Residential developments such as the uberuglyoverdone Malate Bayview and uberoverpriced Serendra still need to prove to us that they have their sh** together before we can trust that they won't create another tragedy like Glorietta 2.

And it has to be a community effort to demand such things such things as proper urban planning and sustainable waste management. We Filipinos just have to start looking beyond ourselves and take responsibility for the crap we create. I mean, look at how shamefully we litter our cities and countrysides. Total proof that we might really be a primitive, uncivilized people incapable of understanding the workings of the world around us. And class, money and power are not the issue here. Just take a walk through Binondo, there is so much money on Calle Ongpin yet it's tenants allow feces to freely flow in full view between their streets. The will should not only be political but of the people as well.

Ultimately we should all realize that sewage is serious sh** and just because we flush the it down, doesn't mean that it's going away. Period.

Evidence that I might be warming up to Mayor Lim. He allowed a study to determine the humanitarian disaster that was Mayor Atienza's birth control ban. Thank your Rina for writing about it.

Oh, and remember the Australian journalists booked at the Peninsula who cancelled after the bombing? Well, they decided to come and visit anyway. What a hardy bunch. Toured them last Monday as scheduled. Lovely folks. Nary a whinge at all. Australians rock.

GLORIETTA AND GLORIA. WHA?

It's been quite a day. Quite a day I tell you.

After my 9:30am tour of Intramuros, I immediately rushed to the Brothers Burger restaurant in front of Makati Medical Center for a 12:00pm meeting with Dr. Ernesto Santos of MMC and other members of the Makati Tourism Council to talk about plans of creating a heritage "walk" zone in Old Poblacion near Rockwell.

After all was said and done (meeting went well - were looking at creating a map of old houses in Makati. Told them to get in touch with HCS), we all said our goodbyes at about 1:15pm. Dr. Santos headed out to Makati Medical Center and I walked off to meet my wife at the MAC store in Greenbelt. On my way there, right about 1:45pm when I was crossing the Ayala Museum, I saw a woman screaming. She was completely incomprehensible, sticking close to the wall, wailing close to the ground. I thought she was in a panic because her bag was stolen or something. Soon enough, a group of people gathered around to ask what was wrong but nothing she said seemed to make sense. It was only when she reached for her cellphone to call a family member that we all overheard the news: a bomb had gone off in Glorietta 2 and she ran all the way to Ayala Museum.

I don't think I could ever forget the look in her eyes. There are no words to adequately describe the degree of fear and panic I saw gashed across her face as I am sure there are no words to describe what she saw as well. This poor girl, a mid-twentysomething college graduate, perhaps on her way back from lunch, did not expect a tragedy of this magnitude to happen right before her eyes today. And her scarred expression and the damage to her nervous system really made me wonder about universal justice. I mean, this was some innocent Filipina, at the threshold of her professional life, innocently going about her day. She didn't deserve this. This country doesn't deserve this. Nobody deserves this.

By 3:00 I was back in Malate. By 3:30 Dr. Santos is on TV reporting that eight are dead, more than fifty injured.

By 4:00, I notice that the bombing has become the latest opportunity to once again bash President Gloria. What is with some people in this country? Not that I like Glo that much but really, I don't see why the very opportunistic political opposition (Trillanes is just pure evil. May he die from hemorrhaged anal fissures in jail for his grandstanding and insensitivity) and the hopelessy transparent reporters on ABS CBN (don't play poker ever guys - your smarmy faces will give you away), should needlessly provide innuendo and political posturing during a time that should call for more reason and sympathy. And hey Maria Ressa? Even You? C'mon. Your comment that "there are only two umbrella groups with this capacity: Jemaah Islamiyah and law enforcement agencies." was practically dripping with implications that our own military blew up a bomb that would kill and maim fellow Filipinos. Watch it, guys. This is the wrong move for now. People don't want politics at this moment. Take my word for it. Report this latest tragedy with a little more sensitivity please or report something that at least has PROOF, ok?

But I'm not going to let this get me down. We're a cool country. Were on our way up. Something like that isn't going to get us down now. Tomorrow the malls will be open.

Life in this crazy city will go on as usual again.

6:00pm. My private VIP tour for Australian travel journalists with the Manila Peninsula has been cancelled because of the bombing. They decided not to visit the country.

Then again. Maybe life might not.

Thank you paulf08 for the interesting shot of smoke at the Glorietta.

BRAVO. BRAVO. BRAVO.

Wala lang (Nothing really). I just made this post because I just love it when I see Filipinos scratching the fringe of fame and pop culture superstardom. As a child, I remember how amazed I was when I saw Tetchie Agbayani acting side by side with Shelley Long and Tom Hanks in Steven Speilberg's "The Money Pit" and more recently, how vicariously thrilled I was to see Migs Ayesa ALMOST making it as the lead singer of INXS. So just last week, when a friend of mine, freelance writer/New Yorker, Bruce Northam of AmericanDetour.com, flew into the country to cover adventure tourism in Palawan, Manila's rock music scene and to interview some guy named Arnel Pineda - I was pretty tickled pink by the news he gave me. Now, "Arnel who?" you might ask (I know I did). Well, according to Bruce, Mr. Pineda, of a band called The Zoo, has been chosen to become the next lead singer of American 80's glam rock band, Journey starting in November. Tres Cool. Hey, now being a maaaaajor Journey fan in High School myself (I remember being a freshman and playing the song, "Faithfully" over and over until the cassette tape was eaten by my overheated Pioneer component system), it's amazing to learn that a Filipino will be a frontman for one of rock music's most iconic bands. But then again, according to some voices in the InterWeb, Arnel might have a hard time warming up to some die hard Journey fans in the midwest who consider him to be the equivalent of musical "outsourcing". But who cares, whether Arnel makes it as their lead singer for all time or only as a "temp" and they eventually go their "Separate Ways". I still say to Arnel, "Don't Stop Believeing". Remain as "Faithfully" as you can to your craft and perhaps the American audience will welcome you with "Open Arms" and all the blogosphere haters out there who made fun of your Pinoy accent will see "Who's Crying Now."

*I saw The Zoo at Bagaberde Roxas Boulevard last week with Bruce. I was impressed by Arnel's talent I have to say. And so was Bruce. Check him out doing what he does best on the Youtube post above. Hmmm. Cecile. Do you think we could give this guy some styling pointers.? He looks like he just came off his shift at a Netopia Internet Cafe or at the Copylandia or something. A better haircut would be in order too.

LOOKY! LOOKY! LOOKY!

THE BATTLE OF THE BRUJAS (tm)...
This is really old, but nevertheless, it's still good.

Now what would happen if we pit Imelda Marcos and Leona Helmsley against one another over a pair of shoes?

Log onto the defunct grudgematch.com and check out what ensues. And even though it was all written in the late 1980's, (the Marcos funeral, Mike Tyson, and Liz Taylor perfume references being a dead giveaway), the humor still has legs today. The word Filipino is also spelled in many interesting ways throughpout. So brush the dust off this site and prepare to waste at least ten minutes of your day.

My bets were on Leona. Sorry, Madame.

CLICK HERE.

And guess whooooooo's baaaack? It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a pig in the sky. It's Malu Fernandez. Ever unremorseful with no hint of her past troubles, check out her latest entries on how to relieve yourself from the heartbreak of gluttony and hangovers in last Monday's Manila Standard.

Wala lang. Frankly, I don't care. But I just like to stir sh**.

Everyone. Read her article here:

Then vent your anger here:
Kamahalan Publishing Corporation
Manila Standard Today
Leyland bldg., Railroad cor. 21st
streets, Port Area, Manila
Trunk line: 527-8351 to 55

Central desk
Direct lines: 5274011, 5274126
Trunk line: local 208, 209, 210
Fax numbers: 527-2059, 524-6649

mst@manilastandardtoday.com

Thanks watergirl for sending Leona - Imelda and riain for the Malu update.

Now back to work.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES UPDATE...

FOR MY HERO!
Originally uploaded by mtxtremist

UPDATE:
Mayor Lim proves to the world that he does not understand sarcasm and perhaps has no idea what the internet is at all. Today, Mayor Alfredo "Maddie" Lim calls for Filipinos to join together to protest against "The Daily Show with John Stewart" because of Cory Slut-gate. (See previous post.)

MORON! What the f***? Ask the nearest ten year old to you to find the episode on You Tube and you'll see just how silly and senile and obnoxious you are being. Really, I dare you to try starting a signature campaign. Only complete idiots and people who have no idea how to use the dictionary will sign it.

Come to think of it. Dang... That could be a lot of people...

Nevertheless. Take my advice, Lim. Drop this. Not only because it will make you look like a fool but also because a lot of people don't LIKE Cory Aquino as much as you might think. And once again, I'll give you a chance. Drop this topic within the next 24 hours, Mayor, and I won't judge you as being unintelligent. Deal?

God, I hope Jon Stewart and Samantha Bee don't think that all Filipinos are as imbecilic as Lim, Deedee, Cory and whoever else other green passport holder is chasing this NON-ISSUE. Besides, this won't hold water. The Desperate Housewives Filipino slur protest was spearheaded by the Filipino-American community, not the Filipino-Filipino community, and that was why it was given so much media attention in the states. We don't matter here much on this side of the world in the eyes of US media. Filipinos only matter there because they are physically present in the country - and if they are American citizens, even more so. My fearless forecast is that Cory Slut-gate will fade away because it's only a big issue locally (if at all).

And Samantha. Please feel free to make fun of the aforementioned Dee-dee, Lim, and Cory. Then again, why would you waste your time, no?

Thank you mtxtremist for the photo of Mayor Lim under the Ninoy statue in front of Intramuros.

Speaking of which, could someone please move that statue out of it's current location at the corner of Burgos and Luneta Park? The Ninoy statue would be more appropriate near the Manila Press Club. Ninoy was a journalist. He has nothing to do with the Spanish colonial period of the Philippines at all. The statue just looks stupid next to Intramuros.

UPDATE 2:
Another reason why the writers, producers, and directors of Desperate Housewives (and not Teri Hatchet) should be tarred and feathered for their ignorance. Read this story sent to me by my Joan Perry, my blog tukayo (same name) "Walk This Way" from Charleston NC. Apparently, five Filipino nurses saved a man who was attacked by an alligator. Really, what would make the joke on DH funny was if the comment was true. Proof of Filipino medical competence like this shows you just how much DH needs to make amends with the Fil-Am medical community (who were mostly trained in the Philippines). Read about it here. Be careful, the photo of the severed arm can be gross to look at.

Then again, maybe I just side with Jon Stewart because his humor is highbrow and funny and I just hate Desperate Housewives because it's a stupid shallow show about stupid shallow people with stupid shallow issues. Maybe I'm just a snob like that.

ANOTHER DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE...

Although I totally agree with Mr. Nadal and the other 72,0000 petitioners about lodging a protest against The Desperate Housewives TV show for trying to perpetuate a malicious fallacious stereotype, I recently found a similar issue which might prove that the Philippines has become the whiniest nation in the world.

Just this morning I saw Pinky Webb interview some lady named Deedee Sytangco on the TV show "Umagang Kay Ganda" about another racially motivated comedy hate crime. According to Miz Dee, people are now up in arms against "The Daily Show with John Stewart" correspondent Samantha Bee for calling former president Cory Aquino a slut (above). Now, I know that isn't nice. If there are any words to describe Miz Aquino, I'd choose, "terrible president" and "theocratic megalomaniac" over "slut" any day. But regarding this particular skit, it's more than apparent that Miss Sytangco and friends are being just a little too thin-skinned and if I may add, moronic as well.

Miss Deedee, if you understand this little thing called "satire", you'd realize that the feature was a veiled compliment and not an insult. Ask the nearest ten year old to turn on the computer and find the feature "Is America Ready for A Woman President" on the YouTube website, you'll see that Miss Bee described Miss Aquino as a leader who "faced down dictators". Really, it was really obvious that you didn't watch the segment yet before coming onto the show.

So don't be stupid, Deedee. Drop the topic. You and Cory can should just go back to praying the rosary or whatever it is that you do but be smart and leave this issue alone. Save yourselves from looking like idiots.

And Pinky, judging by the look on your face, you knew this topic was absurd, so why did you still make it make it patol (pursue this)? Was ABS CBN hoping to increase ratings by manufacturing a another scandal similar to the Desperate Housewives one? For shame.

But at the end, let's all learn how to laugh at ourselves, guys. Because if we don't do it, someone else will do it for us.

My favorite Filipino slurs in American Media: Family Guy. Gee. I wonder what the Filipino nurses will say about this one?

ZOO WHAT?

Mayorlimmayorlimmayorlim.

Sigh. Really. What are you thinking? Are you even thinking? Add more animals to Manila Zoo? Are you mad? Now now. Just because you think that PETA or the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals can be a bunch of noisy do-gooders, doesn't mean that you should maliciously spite them just to prove a point. You are definitely more mature than that.

I mean really. Are you old? I don't think so. Age has nothing to do with this. Frankly, I think you are just being merely cruel by planning to add more animals to this facility. You say that you want to do the right thing and are open to taking advice? Well, take this then. Removing animals from a paradise like Calauit in Palawan and forcing them to live in an antiquated cramped filthy place like Manila Zoo is definitely not the right thing to do. Torturing animals purposefully for the sake of spite and/or political gain is definitely NOT going to win you any points on judgement day either I'm sure.

So please please please prove to me that you can be progressive. It's still early in the game and you can change your ways, I'm sure. Plus, you don't have to close the zoo down either. Just convert the zoo into a botanical garden instead. Just think about how much great press you will get for being so modern and humane? Think about how much money you can save as well. Feeding those animals are a drain on the city's budget. Here, I'll give you some advice on what to do and listen well. First, send the remaining animals to a wider, more open space (like Avilon Zoo in Rizal), then tear down the zoo's ugly walls and put "see through" fences instead so that pedestrians and outsiders can see those beautiful trees. After doing so, start using the facility as a greenhouse/plant center/ecological education tool to teach Filipinos how to care for the environment (just like the Manila Seedling Bank), and not to teach them how to CAGE poor animals. Finally, create a connecting promenade from the zoo to the Metropolitan Museum, Harrison Plaza and the Paraiso ng Kabataan Park on Quirino to fully integrate this new PARK into the urban fabric around it. It will make the area more pedestrian, baby stroller, and tourist friendly.

GOT IT?

And just to keep things clear, I don't agree with PETA's idea to close EVERY zoo in the Philippines. I just agree with them in taking all the animals out of Manila zoo. Could somebody start a signature campaign?

God. If only the Mayor could read this article. I really feel he has no clue about what's going on around Manila.

Thanks Antonette for the photo.

CARLOS RECOMMENDS!

Green Papaya's OPEN PLATFORM is an experimental laboratory for artists, researchers, enthusiasts and bystanders to wash their nasty works-in-progress for a one-night only critical play and exchange via screenings, conversations, performances and declarations of love. Whilst the sometimes foreboding creative process, w.i.l seeks to generate a space for those halfway-over experiences tucked in our sketchpads, notebooks, Myspace accounts and personal blogs. We welcome all in/decent propositions and different modes of presentation. So send in your videos, soundbytes, wearables, performances, installation, drawings, evil plans and marriage proposals for weekly one-night stand gatherings at Green Papaya. Proposals must be submitted a week in advance, send them thru info@greenpapaya.org or holler up +63926 6635606. 124A Maginhawa St. Teachers Village East, Diliman QC.

And check out coffeesparks.com, a site done by a friend of mine, Jobert. Great guy who once provided a sh*tload of booze and moisturizer for The Living Room. It's kind of like a wailing wall, or an advice free for all where one can post their issues and get feedback about what they are going through, whether it be as complex as the loss of a true love or as simple as what new appliances to buy. An interesting concept. Log on here.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER...

TAG TIME...

I was tagged months ago by the grumpyurbanslacker. My apologies to grumpy for not posting earlier but I really couldn't come up with anything interestingly "weird" enough about myself to write about. This is the best I could come up with.

Six "Weird" Things About Myself That You Didn't Know

My first job in New York was a cheese counter boy at Dean and Deluca. I was then transferred to the fish station after being caught eating the stock. I then started bringing my own soy sauce to work so that I could eat the fish raw as well. (Never hire an Asian to work at a fish store, what the hell were they thinking?)

In 1995, I worked with an artist named Joe Davis ,the only "artist-in-residence" and research affiliate at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and we put up an exhibition together at some recreation hall in Harvard named Ticknor or something. But one of the outcomes of collaborating with the man is that my DNA has been put (along with many others) into some rocketship that is flying through outer space as we speak. The objective here, if I remember correctly, was to communicate with space aliens regarding life on earth. And if by chance aliens don't understand written human language, then they sure must be able to recognize DNA codes. I can't seem to find the website that shows me on the list anymore though.
I started my career as a cartoonist and illustrator for Business Day newspaper at the age of fourteen drawing a comic strip known as "Bar Sins", a comic about alcoholics at a bar that discussed issues both local and esoteric (above, done later on during the Erap era when I returned to bworldonline.com). I then became the youngest member of the Samahang Kartunista ng Pilipinas in 1987 thanks to a recommendation by Nonoy Marcelo. After drawing comics, I then moved on to work as an illustrator for T-Shirts at a clothing store named "Island Spice Philippines" that my sister owned. I was one of the co-founders of the company and kinda loathe myself for being part of the proliferation of all those tie-dye T-shirts (We used to sell PapaDom T-Shirts - no offense Papa Dom!) and the grungy pseudo-"ethnic" hippie look that kinda took the Philippine youth scene of the early nineties by storm. Yes, it was a very sloppy looking moment in local fashion I know.

I was a dancer. I was the founding member of the Walang Pamagat Performance Art Company with my best friend Inigo Elizalde. Our dance theater group performed at the CCP, RISD, AS220 Providence, the Bronx Museum of Art, and in San Miguel de Allende in Mexico. I am not in dancer's shape anymore but I am kinda immortalized "in action" in the book "Philippine Dance: Mainstream and Crosscurrents." by Reynaldo Alejandro

In the six degrees to celebrity department, Jean Paul Gaultier was my aunt Peanut's roommate in Manila in the 1970s (And yes, that is the real name of my mother's sister). When living in New York in the mid-90s, Inigo and I used to hang out a lot with still struggling performance artist Casey Spooner of Fischerspooner (which only puts me one more degree away from Michael Stipe). Haven't seen him in years and apparently neither has a lot of our old group since he made it big. Wonder if he'll remember me if I bump into him again someday. I also once served coffee to Rosie Perez when I was working as a busboy at E and O restaurant on Houston Street.

And that's it. I hope these are strange enough things about myself that you would never guess.

Now, if I had to tag anyone, my dream team would be to tag Chuva. Bryanboy. and MLQIII. But that is only if I had to. No pressure anyone. Only do this if you wish.

And speaking of better late than never, Mayor Lim has finally fixed the lights on Roxas Boulevard. Apparently, this is the reason why the lights were turned off. The mayor is also made a statement showing he is open to criticism and is apparently restoring The Manila Metropolitan Theatre as well. Now this is the kind of news I like to hear. And I'll take him up on giving him suggestions. I'll be more than happy to send him a list of stuff I want to see done.